I want out | Help please

Juniper
holy_moly_

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holy_moly_
Feb 22 1 Comment

I moved to a startup a few years ago and everything was really good until a few months ago. Things have changed drastically in terms of culture and process.
Yes, we were working a lot. Yes, we were less structured before and things could have been improved but I never felt any sort of pressure. It always felt like the team was working towards a common goal together and having a lot of fun.

Today, we have status updates every day where the focus is no longer on blockers but rather feels like a meeting where people want to showcase each and everything that they have done( even a 15 min meeting to help someone). People who don't deliver/execute somehow really like the planning even if that plan takes ages to complete and it's hard to even do a POC without getting one approved.

It feels like a really competitive environment where certain folks will ask you questions just for the heck of it or ask you really obvious things again just because they want to come across as proactive or they will rather give you feedback in a team meeting where everyone can hear it but not to you personally. People will even ask you to ask questions on the team channel even if you personally ask them for help.

Also adding that some of these things have affected me less because I have been here for a while and know my way around things. I don't do very well with planning/ public speaking and I don't like to showcase my work. I have helped people complete their work even if no one finds out about that (it's hard because some people take advantage of that). My code might not be perfect / my understanding of basics might not be the best but I still manage. I do know a ton of other people in the team who will know less but will have so much confidence.

It might be my resistance to change or might be just the field/ industry in general. I see other people using these opportunities and advancing when I continue to resist. I am not sure what to do.
I am at a point where I would choose a better team / better wlb /relaxed culture over better pay and still try to make an impact because that makes me happy.
I have also tried telling myself that I just need to grow up and get out of my comfort zone but I am not sure if I want to become this person or if I will ever enjoy this.

Will really appreciate it If anyone has any suggestions or can recommend any companies/teams (Infrastructure focused) where I might be a fit.
I am also struggling with some mental/physical issues personally and it is definitely not the best time to switch if I consider the pre-ipo stock options / tax / Green card processing but I am just so angry and frustrated.

#mentalhealth

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TOP 1 Comment
  • Good luck with your options. It seems it's time to leave. You can think of the interview process as a place to find a culture that better fits you, but it seems your current place isn't it.

    There are other issues with your professional development you want to address as well. But a new environment is probably the higher priority.
    Feb 22 0